Nelsy Rodriguez might be months late in this story about sewers in Murrieta but give her credit – at least she wrote about it and had a nice lede. The Sewer issue was done by the PE as centerpieces probably three times over the past two years. I only know because I know people in the area who keep close tabs on this. Ms. Rodriguez got beat on this issue but she knew that it was worth a story so she sucked up her pride and wrote about it. Thank you.
Nice color and emotional funeral coverage of a US Coast Guard who died in a training exercise. The man was from San Bernardino and Mark Petix wrote beautifully. Good read Mr. Petix. Where was the PE by the way?
Sad story in the LA Times about the housing and economic woes affecting senior citizens.
How many times is the PE going to write about these massage parlors? You could even say these repetitive Jeff Horseman stories rub me the wrong way. I think this is the third or fourth in the past six months. That is a ridiculous amount of ink to give to something most could care less about. This better be the last massage story because let’s face it, there will be no happy ending.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sept. 16 and 17
The LA Times had an interesting read on the engineer of the Metrolink.
Michelle DeArmond and Duane Gang had an interesting story about voters registering as Democrats being switched to Republicans. Seems real shady.
The Sun’s Miranda White had a good story about a woman sky diving for her first time. The woman is 70. But the lede is terrible:
Nancy Burrows decided she was going to go skydiving for her 70th birthday, and nothing was going to stop her.
"My grandmother said to enjoy your life and don't ever say, `I wish I had done that,"' said Burrows, a resident of Mentone. "That's how I lived most of my life."
As a reader, once I saw that line about nothing stopping her I thought I would read about this woman facing all odds. Maybe she fought a mountain lion on her way to the airport or her plane ran out of fuel. Nope.
Meanwhile the Sun continues to report the San Bernardino Police Chief in a way stronger way than the PE. The story today from Andrew Edwards is not really needed but it keeps readers informed what paper is doing a better job with the story. And really, how can you not run a story with that great council woman’s quote.: "Is it time for the chief to stay or leave?" she asked later. "I think he's an intelligent man. I hope he's able to read the tea leaves on this one."
Michelle DeArmond and Duane Gang had an interesting story about voters registering as Democrats being switched to Republicans. Seems real shady.
The Sun’s Miranda White had a good story about a woman sky diving for her first time. The woman is 70. But the lede is terrible:
Nancy Burrows decided she was going to go skydiving for her 70th birthday, and nothing was going to stop her.
"My grandmother said to enjoy your life and don't ever say, `I wish I had done that,"' said Burrows, a resident of Mentone. "That's how I lived most of my life."
As a reader, once I saw that line about nothing stopping her I thought I would read about this woman facing all odds. Maybe she fought a mountain lion on her way to the airport or her plane ran out of fuel. Nope.
Meanwhile the Sun continues to report the San Bernardino Police Chief in a way stronger way than the PE. The story today from Andrew Edwards is not really needed but it keeps readers informed what paper is doing a better job with the story. And really, how can you not run a story with that great council woman’s quote.: "Is it time for the chief to stay or leave?" she asked later. "I think he's an intelligent man. I hope he's able to read the tea leaves on this one."
Monday, September 15, 2008
Quick Take
The PE
Rocky Salmon left the paper with a bang. His Sunday’s piece on Warnie Enochs will leave the community talking and was well-written despite being a confusing topic. Many in the community will question why this story came out now. Is it the liberal media attacking a politician? The real question is why it took so long to get this story out. Read it here.
The LA Times leapt into the
I try to read all the papers and sometimes it’s physically impossible. I do scan the most read on the sun site. Here is something by Wes Hughes I thought was good journalism. It’s a story on a dumped dog. Doesn’t sound too interesting does it? This story is though.
GLItches and Good Points
I don't get the sb sun since I live in Murrieta but I do have someone who plans to start doing reviews on the Sun and the Riverside sections of the PE and the few LA Times stories that pop up. A commenter made a good point and I am working on a solution.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The PE's Sunday
The PE
Sandra Stokely wrote this scary story of a mother fighting a school district for allowing students to read “The Kite Runner”. If the mother doesn’t want her child to learn how to live in the real world and rationalize then she should be home schooling her. The fact the woman is trying to get her Master’s Degree in Education and she is fighting the use of this book is shocking. Wait. Wait. That degree is from Cal State Baptist. The photo by Bill Lewis is fantastic.
I love this story because it is a great talker. During my morning walk I griped about this woman with my wife. Someone overhead us and joined in.
If this woman is getting her Master’s and is such a concerned parent she should use this to talk about societal issues not play the blame game. Shame on you Kolb. Thanks Stokely for the talked read it here.
Menifee will incorporate on Oct. 1. So why write a party preview two weeks before? Space-filler. Read it here.
Claudia Bustamante left the paper with one last good read. A nice, up-lifting story about a new program at Temecula Unified. The lede is short, emotional and anecdotal:
Gabbi Pleasant had the brains but always ended up failing classes in eighth grade.
Enter the Delta Academy. The school-within-a-school at Temecula Valley High School is for select freshmen at risk of failing, not for lack of aptitude, but rather motivation.
"The only reason I didn't get held back is because I turned in extra-credit assignments," she said about eighth grade. Gabbi, 14, now a sophomore, finished her first year in high school with a 3.3 grade-point average.
This is what Education reporters should do. Bye Ms. Bustamante and thank you for stories like this.
Sandra Stokely wrote this scary story of a mother fighting a school district for allowing students to read “The Kite Runner”. If the mother doesn’t want her child to learn how to live in the real world and rationalize then she should be home schooling her. The fact the woman is trying to get her Master’s Degree in Education and she is fighting the use of this book is shocking. Wait. Wait. That degree is from Cal State Baptist. The photo by Bill Lewis is fantastic.
I love this story because it is a great talker. During my morning walk I griped about this woman with my wife. Someone overhead us and joined in.
If this woman is getting her Master’s and is such a concerned parent she should use this to talk about societal issues not play the blame game. Shame on you Kolb. Thanks Stokely for the talked read it here.
Menifee will incorporate on Oct. 1. So why write a party preview two weeks before? Space-filler. Read it here.
Claudia Bustamante left the paper with one last good read. A nice, up-lifting story about a new program at Temecula Unified. The lede is short, emotional and anecdotal:
Gabbi Pleasant had the brains but always ended up failing classes in eighth grade.
Enter the Delta Academy. The school-within-a-school at Temecula Valley High School is for select freshmen at risk of failing, not for lack of aptitude, but rather motivation.
"The only reason I didn't get held back is because I turned in extra-credit assignments," she said about eighth grade. Gabbi, 14, now a sophomore, finished her first year in high school with a 3.3 grade-point average.
This is what Education reporters should do. Bye Ms. Bustamante and thank you for stories like this.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Middle of the week madness
The PE
Julissa McKinnon has been a busy reporter and the local section was plugged with her work. If this is what readers have to look forward to when the next week hits then it’s not too bad. McKinnon seems to do a good job balancing news stories and feature stories and mining the community for interesting bits, including her story on Perris using high schools kids from an alternative school. Nice little centerpiece to pass my time while munching my Frosted Flakes.
Tammy McCoy is good about getting the minutae correct in her stories. But her short story on a Perris mother sentenced in the death of her kid left me with the simple question: What type of injury did the child have that the parents ignored?
Laurie Lucas had an interesting story about one of LBJ’s descendants buried in a Riverside graveyard. Not earth shattering because many people could give a grape’s raisin about LBJ but it makes a cute read. The lede is too convoluted though. “Unbeknownst” is not a great word to start any story off with.
John Asbury must be racing with McKinnon and LaRocco for hardest working reporter. He digs up a horrifying tale of a body found in concrete. Good details and interesting read.
Reporter Tip of the Day
Stop using “But” at the top. Quit taking readers one way then flipping them another. Sometimes it works, as with Doug Quan’s outrageously funny story on $35 a ticket movie theaters.
But Alicia Robinson uses but in the first sentence and I shut down. I couldn’t keep reading.
Norco could build a plant to turn its horse manure into energy, but the city might have to scramble to meet a federal deadline for an energy loan program, according to preliminary results of a study.
Speaking of Ms. Robinson but what does it say about society when one of the most popular stories is that stupid deal with the two dogs. And Ms. Robinson’s follow up doesn’t help much. Just read the lede and tell me what you think because when I started reading the story it was “In the trash at first graf.”
It was love at first lick when shelter dogs Yogi and Boo Boo met their new family, Riverside couple Sandy and Keanon Alderson.
Julissa McKinnon has been a busy reporter and the local section was plugged with her work. If this is what readers have to look forward to when the next week hits then it’s not too bad. McKinnon seems to do a good job balancing news stories and feature stories and mining the community for interesting bits, including her story on Perris using high schools kids from an alternative school. Nice little centerpiece to pass my time while munching my Frosted Flakes.
Tammy McCoy is good about getting the minutae correct in her stories. But her short story on a Perris mother sentenced in the death of her kid left me with the simple question: What type of injury did the child have that the parents ignored?
Laurie Lucas had an interesting story about one of LBJ’s descendants buried in a Riverside graveyard. Not earth shattering because many people could give a grape’s raisin about LBJ but it makes a cute read. The lede is too convoluted though. “Unbeknownst” is not a great word to start any story off with.
John Asbury must be racing with McKinnon and LaRocco for hardest working reporter. He digs up a horrifying tale of a body found in concrete. Good details and interesting read.
Reporter Tip of the Day
Stop using “But” at the top. Quit taking readers one way then flipping them another. Sometimes it works, as with Doug Quan’s outrageously funny story on $35 a ticket movie theaters.
But Alicia Robinson uses but in the first sentence and I shut down. I couldn’t keep reading.
Norco could build a plant to turn its horse manure into energy, but the city might have to scramble to meet a federal deadline for an energy loan program, according to preliminary results of a study.
Speaking of Ms. Robinson but what does it say about society when one of the most popular stories is that stupid deal with the two dogs. And Ms. Robinson’s follow up doesn’t help much. Just read the lede and tell me what you think because when I started reading the story it was “In the trash at first graf.”
It was love at first lick when shelter dogs Yogi and Boo Boo met their new family, Riverside couple Sandy and Keanon Alderson.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Weekend Wrap Up
The PE
Good story about how cargo affects the Inland area by a slew of reporters. Did it deserve to be such a big project with so much type dedicated to it? Nope. Too long and the graphics of what is in my house isn’t needed.
Mr Begley was a busy man. He also wrote about vacationers staying closer to home for the summer. Um, Mr. Begley and editors who pitched this tripe: the summer is almost over and quit writing non-trend stories.
What’s next a trend story on the rise in popularity of people driving green colored cars on Mondays?
Reporter Michelle Klampe had another trend story about teachers using high-tech devices. Not only has that story been done by every media outlet in America, the PE did that same story less than a year ago. How hard is it for reporters to check the paper library to see if the story has been done?
Mr. Sean Nealon did a tubers story. It was much better than the tuber Olympics in the Cal a week ago, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. How is that for some bad writing? Why do I need two large grafs of color when the third graf is the lede:
A truck loaded with 50,000 pounds of Chieftain potatoes coated in dirt from an Anza field arrives at the San Jacinto packing shed. Immediately, the red potatoes get a bath and, dripping, ride a conveyer belt inside.
Several dozen workers pick out dried grass and discard misshapen and rotten potatoes. Machines sort the potatoes by size and drop them into 50-pound boxes.
A year ago, Agri-Empire, a 63-year-old company in San Jacinto that farms 4,000 acres of potatoes in Southern California, sold those boxes for $20. Today, it is getting twice that.
That’s called being too cutesy and an editor should have caught that.
When I opened the local section I thought Mr. Aaron Burgin had done the story of weekend. The photo by Kurt Miller was classic with a lady straddling a small flood ditch and looming apartments in the background.
Then I started reading the story:
Lake Elsinore's failure to completely address runoff issues plaguing neighbors on a street in an unincorporated pocket could spoil its plans to annex the land.
I would have went with color or a story from one of the people in the neighborhood about the run off. This lede fails the photo and fails the story. It’s boring and it could be used for anything. It’s a template lede.
“Hollywood’s failure to completely address spiderman shooting webs on a street in town could spoil its plans to create Spider Land.”
Kudos to Jeff Horseman for doing a short overview on hospital construction in the area. I think the story needed people who would be affected because that would have brought the story home. At least it was a good idea.
Good story about how cargo affects the Inland area by a slew of reporters. Did it deserve to be such a big project with so much type dedicated to it? Nope. Too long and the graphics of what is in my house isn’t needed.
Mr Begley was a busy man. He also wrote about vacationers staying closer to home for the summer. Um, Mr. Begley and editors who pitched this tripe: the summer is almost over and quit writing non-trend stories.
What’s next a trend story on the rise in popularity of people driving green colored cars on Mondays?
Reporter Michelle Klampe had another trend story about teachers using high-tech devices. Not only has that story been done by every media outlet in America, the PE did that same story less than a year ago. How hard is it for reporters to check the paper library to see if the story has been done?
Mr. Sean Nealon did a tubers story. It was much better than the tuber Olympics in the Cal a week ago, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. How is that for some bad writing? Why do I need two large grafs of color when the third graf is the lede:
A truck loaded with 50,000 pounds of Chieftain potatoes coated in dirt from an Anza field arrives at the San Jacinto packing shed. Immediately, the red potatoes get a bath and, dripping, ride a conveyer belt inside.
Several dozen workers pick out dried grass and discard misshapen and rotten potatoes. Machines sort the potatoes by size and drop them into 50-pound boxes.
A year ago, Agri-Empire, a 63-year-old company in San Jacinto that farms 4,000 acres of potatoes in Southern California, sold those boxes for $20. Today, it is getting twice that.
That’s called being too cutesy and an editor should have caught that.
When I opened the local section I thought Mr. Aaron Burgin had done the story of weekend. The photo by Kurt Miller was classic with a lady straddling a small flood ditch and looming apartments in the background.
Then I started reading the story:
Lake Elsinore's failure to completely address runoff issues plaguing neighbors on a street in an unincorporated pocket could spoil its plans to annex the land.
I would have went with color or a story from one of the people in the neighborhood about the run off. This lede fails the photo and fails the story. It’s boring and it could be used for anything. It’s a template lede.
“Hollywood’s failure to completely address spiderman shooting webs on a street in town could spoil its plans to create Spider Land.”
Kudos to Jeff Horseman for doing a short overview on hospital construction in the area. I think the story needed people who would be affected because that would have brought the story home. At least it was a good idea.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
September 6
This is my first post after being recruited to do this little subsection. Please let me know how it goes. Am I too mean? Not mean enough? Should I cover more papers? Let me know.
Now on to the papers.
The PE
Sean Nealon has a nice trend story about the decline of pianos. Rather than solely focus on the decline in sales he talks about the decline of status symbol for pianos. Great quotes involved and it makes me glad I ditched the piano for the harpsichord.
Here is the quote of the day
"Do I prefer Beethoven to rock? Absolutely," he said. "But it doesn't matter what I think. In a capitalist society, it's what people want. They want Bono and U2. Roll over, Beethoven."
Alicia Robinson did a story about two dogs who must be adopted together. Why? I read the entire thing looking for one reason that belonged on my newspaper. If it ran shouldn’t it belong smack dab on the middle of Local Plus. Where is the news value in this story?
Then again the powerful dogs got misplaced by Dug Begley’s traffic story. Look at the lede:
Companies that allow workers to trade a cubicle for a comfy chair at home help ease Inland area road congestion, although by how much is uncertain, local and state transportation and economic agencies said.
Then why is this a story? It’s a trend story but we can’t really tell if it’s a trend. Maybe by the PE writing about it, it becomes a trend?
Paige Austin’s story was emotional and well written about a Corona man who feeds the homeless in a Corona park.
Imran Vitacchi’s follow story on the Idyllwild hikers was great journalism. Should have been A-1. This is the type of writing and story that draw people to the paper. Good job Vitacchi. You and Nealon can fight over best story of the day.
The Sun
Canan Tasci had an interesting story about an Ontario board member who lost it over his name not being in a school program. The lede was a little murky but the quotes were hilarious. Check out this quote:
This is my time to speak. Little guy. Little brain. Little brain. Little mouth. Stop," Avila said.
"Quit calling me names, act your age," McClure said from his seat.
http://www.insidesocal.com/news247/2008/09/ontariomontclair-board-member.html
Mr. Joe Nelson do not take five grafs to get to the reason why we are writing about a missing man. Otherwise good quotes and emotional link for the readers.
http://www.sbsun.com/ci_10395006?source=most_viewed
Now on to the papers.
The PE
Sean Nealon has a nice trend story about the decline of pianos. Rather than solely focus on the decline in sales he talks about the decline of status symbol for pianos. Great quotes involved and it makes me glad I ditched the piano for the harpsichord.
Here is the quote of the day
"Do I prefer Beethoven to rock? Absolutely," he said. "But it doesn't matter what I think. In a capitalist society, it's what people want. They want Bono and U2. Roll over, Beethoven."
Alicia Robinson did a story about two dogs who must be adopted together. Why? I read the entire thing looking for one reason that belonged on my newspaper. If it ran shouldn’t it belong smack dab on the middle of Local Plus. Where is the news value in this story?
Then again the powerful dogs got misplaced by Dug Begley’s traffic story. Look at the lede:
Companies that allow workers to trade a cubicle for a comfy chair at home help ease Inland area road congestion, although by how much is uncertain, local and state transportation and economic agencies said.
Then why is this a story? It’s a trend story but we can’t really tell if it’s a trend. Maybe by the PE writing about it, it becomes a trend?
Paige Austin’s story was emotional and well written about a Corona man who feeds the homeless in a Corona park.
Imran Vitacchi’s follow story on the Idyllwild hikers was great journalism. Should have been A-1. This is the type of writing and story that draw people to the paper. Good job Vitacchi. You and Nealon can fight over best story of the day.
The Sun
Canan Tasci had an interesting story about an Ontario board member who lost it over his name not being in a school program. The lede was a little murky but the quotes were hilarious. Check out this quote:
This is my time to speak. Little guy. Little brain. Little brain. Little mouth. Stop," Avila said.
"Quit calling me names, act your age," McClure said from his seat.
http://www.insidesocal.com/news247/2008/09/ontariomontclair-board-member.html
Mr. Joe Nelson do not take five grafs to get to the reason why we are writing about a missing man. Otherwise good quotes and emotional link for the readers.
http://www.sbsun.com/ci_10395006?source=most_viewed
Thursday, September 4, 2008
September 4
Let’s look at the Sun
The design of this paper hurts me but this is a nice story by Robert Rodgers. The PE did a big take out on these diploma mills a few years ago but this one targets the San Bernardino Police Department and Augie U.
Love that name. I wonder if they will start fielding a sports team. Shooting perhaps? Archery?
http://www.sbsun.com/sanbernardino/ci_10376106
Funny story about a doughnut theft caught by Redlands Police Chief but I have no clue what this phrase in the first line means: millennium doughnut caper. Am I dumb? Someone please explain because it ruined the story for me.
http://www.sbsun.com/news/ci_10376108
Matt Wyre does a story about an upperscale neighborhood in Fontana watching prices fall. He uses the lovely phrase “Case in point”. Why? Why? I didn’t mind the first two paragraphs and was cruising right along. Then I hit that phrase and I stopped. Why is that needed? Reporters need to look at every word and throw out those that don’t fit. Instead of writing case in point, why not paint a picture of the community? That would have been a better transition.
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